1. |
Sleepwalking/Desires
03:23
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Sleepwalking, don’t know what to do
I’m lucid and I’m through
Climbing back to you
I am slipping
I am drifting
Away
Away
Soft sweet redemptress
Your very own fuckable Sisyphus
I don’t want to play anymore
I just want to talk
I want to be heard
I want to be held
I want to be understood
I want to be helped
And if you must know
I am afraid of my own shadow
I am afraid
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2. |
Set to Self-Destruct
05:19
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Sometimes I wake up with one foot off the curb
Am I too old to daydream or too young to hurt?
When a quiet life is too much to desire
Must I instead put my hand into the fire?
I drew the map and you tore it up
Had to go out and find myself again
Am I simply set to self-destruct
Or is the self-doubt something I can mend?
If I’m not careful I’ll die here
If I’m not careful I’ll die
As I live out my worst fears
I can say that I tried
Sometimes I wake up with one hand in the earth
Have all the roots I’ve grown been severed or worse?
Without the instinct to give up and retreat
Must I instead simply jump in with both feet?
I struck the match and you burned it out
Had to find my own way through the night
If I’m simply set to self-destruct
I will continue falling towards the light
If I’m not careful I’ll die here
If I’m not careful I’ll die
As I live out my worst fears
I can say that I tried
If we’re not careful we’ll die here
If we’re not careful we’ll die
As we live out our worst fears
I can say that I
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3. |
Absolve Me
05:09
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Slipped right through my fingers
Absorbing all the light
Part of you still lingers
And tortures me at night
I wish I could take some of it back
All that’s left for me to do is ask
Absolve me, maybe
I’m only human
Dispel my fears
Create some new ones
You look right through me
As if you never knew
That I could break, stumble or fall
Haunted by my guilt
Nowhere left to hide
In the prison that we built
And locked ourselves inside
So easy for you to vilify
All that’s left for me to do is try
Absolve me, maybe
I’m only human
Dispel my fears
Create some new ones
You look right through me
As if you never knew
That I could break, stumble or fall
Do I really want forgiveness
A temporary modulation
Do I truly feel remorse
Or is that just another stipulation
Punish me for speaking truth
Possess me, open up old wounds
Quiet now, you wait for me to bend
But the impulse rushes back again
I’m sorry I’ll never pretend
Absolve me but don’t ever hold me back
Absolve me, maybe
I’m only human
Dispel my fears
Create some new ones
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4. |
2nd Second Chance
03:33
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Someone took something from me
And I'm starting to believe
That I may never get it back
What do you want? What do I need?
I thought we'd started to agree
But it's all falling apart
Again
I would rather not try
Giving you a second, second chance
I would happily die
Not having spent another moment
At the mercy of your plans
Promise me you'll do your worst
Make me believe I'm fucking cursed
Am I asking for too much?
You'll claim to be above the need
Leave all decisions up to me
What am I willing to endure?
I would rather not try
Giving you a second, second chance
Please don't ask me why
I won't spend another moment
Reaching out to your closed hands
I was so quick to forgive that I forgot to respect myself
To honour my peace of mind
I could still be convinced, but it's time to
Let go of this and learn to say
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye
Goodbye, goodbye
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5. |
Daydreams/Looming
02:01
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I wish you’d hang up the receiver
I’m still waiting on the other line
You’re holding out for better weather
But the sun only has so much shine
Time passes, we evolve, we pretend
Nothing happened, just unfollow and unsend
Icarus I saw you with your wings aflame
As if it was your right
To cast your light over everything
To exert your might
You create shadows where there once were none
You create shadows, you are the only one
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6. |
Serrated Knife
03:19
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When you slice into my heart
Use a serrated knife
When you tear my world apart
Make it a fair fight
It’s a very delicate procedure
When you peel back the surface
Do you see me
Or will you only ever see “her”?
Stripped of all my gimmicks
I’m the image of my father
Will I be the wanderer,
The lover or the martyr?
I just want to trust you
I don’t care what it means
I just want to trust you
I don’t care what it means
I just want to trust you
I don’t care what it means
I just want to trust you
I don’t care what it means
So when you slice into my heart
Use a serrated knife
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7. |
Oblivion
06:07
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Peeling back the layers to reveal a thicker skin
Your thoughts and your prayers are growing old and wearing thin
Lend me your patience and I'll try to understand
What it feels like to live in oblivion
The flooded street's the perfect place to float by
The air is heavy, no one makes a sound
Locked doors and secret stores and bags of sand
Won't save you from drowning in oblivion
Why won't you fight for me
Ward off the demons only I can see
Why won't you say
Anything other than "you'll be okay"
A thousand tiny feathers falling from a summer sky
Taught to jump but learned how to fly
City lights and tourist sights must look so bland
Way up there, in oblivion
I've seen Southern mountains set on fire
Burning for our insatiable desires
Once you've discovered all there is to know
Is there anywhere to go but higher into oblivion
Why won't you fight for us
Discard the excuses that I can't trust
Why won't you say
Anything other than "ça va bien aller"
You can ring the bell
Or knock down the door
I do not live there anymore
You can cast a spell
Pour salt in the sore
You cannot hurt me anymore
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8. |
Safer in Danger
04:20
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I’d rather trust my heart with a stranger
Why do we feel safer in danger
How am I so afraid of falling
And still disregard every warning
I always took the path of least resistance
As a result I attract the inconsistent
Can I turn away from the comfort of distance
Embrace the uncertain terms of my existence
Why don’t you
Do something
Do something
I wish you would
Do something
Do something
I would if I could
I’d rather surrender hope than wonder
Why do we feel safer going under
How does one break the surface
And know all the pain was worth it
Do something, do something
Do something, do something
Do something, do something
Do something, do something
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9. |
No Ambition
03:03
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I tried to warn you, you never listened
No trust, no fear, no ambition
I want to love
like my body’s not falling apart
I want to turn what’s broken
into tiny works of art
I want to wake up and feel
like I can start again
I want to live like I don’t know
that this is the end
Isn’t it just like us to worry
About what we’ll miss
Before we’re even gone
Isn’t it just like us to yearn
For the good old days
When they’ve just begun
Isn’t it just like us to strive
For a better way
In spite of what we’ve done
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10. |
Overdose
02:03
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Falling asleep in the passenger seat
One of many different ways
My body betrays me
I was so young
When you decided to leave
But you could never compete
With your fear of dying
When I am in pain
I look just like you
I am trying to change
But I’m wired for doom
I am here and elsewhere
I am here and going nowhere fast
I am here and elsewhere
I am here
"We'd, uh, like to thank everyone, we had a great time and uh, it's been fun. Take care."
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Shelby Trapid Montreal, Québec
Shelby Trapid is a songwriter and multi-instrumentalist.
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